In today’s episode of The Soulfully Optimized Life, I want to share with you 11 amazing life lessons I’ve learned from Tony Robbins from UPW… his Unleash The Power Within program.
At the time of the recording it was just about 2 weeks since I went to his most epic domestic UPW program yet. Imagine a room of 10,000+ people shouting with victory as they gained the insights, made new decisions, and broke through the limiting beliefs that held them from living the life they knew they deserved…the life they were called to live.
Here’s a snap shot of me at the event with Tony in the background:
The first night kicked off with the famous fire walk…where Tony rocked the room with 10,000+ people in the Los Angeles convention center until the late hours of the night, preparing them for this powerful and metaphorical breakthrough experience.
On the second day, we had Joseph McClendon III, Tony’s right hand man, lead the group through powerful, group transformative exercises…leaving the room in a state of declaring new standards for their lives and breaking through BS limiting beliefs.
On the third day, we had Tony take us through some deep psychological experiences…including his famous Dickens process in which you could feel the energetic density of the room magnify as the crowd connected with the amplified fulfillment of living their dreams, as well as connecting with the stacked pain of regret if they were to not commit to their dreams from a perspective of many years in the future.
The night ended with tears of joy and victory as Tony led the crowd into a victory dance filled with a super soaker cool down.
And on the last day, Joseph McClendon III led us through key principles of living a healthy and vital life…as well as some simple steps to integrate all the strategies into our life “back home”.
All in all, the experience was powerful, the connections I made with new friends were soulfully rich, and I felt compelled to share some of the greatest sound bites of wisdom from the event.
1) Change is never a matter of ability…it’s a matter of motivation
Viktor Frankl, author of Man’s Search For Meaning and Holocaust survivor, has famously said, “He has who a strong enough why can endure almost any kind of how.” When we have enough emotional fuel behind achieving a goal, we’ll come up with the resourcefulness to make it happen.
2) Trade your expectations for appreciations
When we have expectations, we set ourselves up for disappointment if they’re not met. Rather than waiting for life to match our expectations, focus on what we can appreciate in this moment. Gratitude sees everything as a gift, and abundance becomes our natural state.
3) Where focus goes, energy flows
Where you put your attention on magnifies. What we focus on feels real to us. There’s really only 3 things we have control over: what we focus on, the meaning we give to it, and what we do about it. Take control of your focus and make sure it’s in a positive direction.
4) Replace your to-do list with a results-focused plan
I used to be addicted to the to-do list syndrome. It’s where you wake up everyday and write out everything you have to and want to do that day. As you go on your day, you cross out what you accomplish…and if you’re a high achiever, you have so many to-dos you rarely if ever finish them all by the end of the day.
A to-do list is unfulfilling in it’s structure. We have a moment of cool, I finished this, and then we move on. And sometimes we can get so caught up on our to-dos, we can miss out what we’re really after: our results. Tony talks about the RPM plan; a results-focused, purpose-driven, massive action plan. We start with our result, we capture our strong WHY to fuel us through achieving it, and we create a massive action plan that’ll most effectively get us our result. This way, all of our actions are focused and guided to best hit our target…rather than getting caught up with just getting busy.
5) A 2mm change is all you need
Often times, we may think that we need to make a big change…a dramatic shift in direction to accomplish our results…when all we need may be a 2mm change. Tony shared a story about when he was first learning golf, his instructor purposely change the positioning of his club to be 2mm off center. This resulted in the golf ball going many meters ofcourse as opposed to when he was positioned on center.
Sometimes all we need to do is readjust and realign with greater strategies, insights and energy.
6) The Triad
There are three things that cause you to feel anything at any moment: your physiology, focus and language. The posture of your body will affect your emotional state profoundly. If you’re depressed, chances are your shoulders are hunched over, you’re breathing is very shallow and you’re looking down. If you’re victorious, your arms may be in the air, chest wide open and you’re breathing fully.
Next comes your focus. Like we said earlier, where focus goes…energy flows. If you’re depressed, you’re probably focused on what’s missing in your life, how something happened to you that you can never undo. If you’re victorious, you’re probably focused on the incredible accomplishment you, your family, your team, your friend, or your company made.
And lastly comes language. If you’re depressed, you may saying (in your head or out loud) what’s the point, it’s over, nothing matters, life is miserable. If you’re victorious, you may be screaming YES!!!!!
Consciously use your physiology, focus and language to produce beautiful states for yourself…because when you’re in a beautiful state, you light up the world.
7) The 6 Human Needs
Tony said how there are 6 invisible forces that control every single thought, feeling, emotion, decision and habit we have. He calls these the 6 human needs:
Certainty – we all need to feel safe, secure, comfortable, and a sense of constancy in life
Variety/Uncertainty – we all need to feel change, stimulus, variability, and exploring the unknown
Significance – we all need to feel unique, important, special and needed
Connection/Love – we all need to feel connected to something more than ourselves, and a sense of union and closeness with something or someone
Growth – we all need to expand our capabilities and understanding in life
Contribution – we all need to have a sense of service for helping, giving to and supporting others
We all make sure to meet the first 4, which he calls the needs of the human personality. It’s the last 2 that bring us fulfillment. Here’s the key, we all favor two stronger than the rest…those two determine what’s most important to us in life. If it’s certainty and significance, you’ve got the kiss of death; if it’s growth and contribution, you’re set for a prime life. Be conscious of what you’re needs are and what they must be to lead you to your ultimate destiny.
8) Change your story, change your life
We all have stories for our lives. Sometimes it’s our stories that are holding us back from experiencing what we truly desire. Sometimes we may feel like we can’t have or accomplish something because something happened “to us”, and although we can’t change the events and circumstances in our lives…we certainly can change the meanings. Choose empowering meanings for your life and that’ll unleash your soul for a greater life.
9) Your decisions lead to your destiny
“It is in your moments of decision that your destiny is shaped.” ~ Tony Robbins
It is not our circumstances that define our destiny, rather the decisions we make in our lives. Think about it…was there a decision in your life that had you made a different decision, you’d be in a completely different place? That’s the power of making decisions…embrace it fully and make your decisions from a place of love; those are the best decisions after all.
10) The 3 mandates of a leader
Tony introduced the concept of the 3 mandates of a leader by stating how a leader first sees things as they are, then sees them better than they are, and then takes massive action to make things the way he sees them for being better. We can’t change anything unless we know where we’re at and where we’re going. And nothing will happen unless we take massive action. Use the 3 mandates of a leader to create effective change in your life.
11) Success leaves clues
Tony talks about full immersion training and modeling those who’ve created the results you want in your life. It makes sense…be in an environment that supports what you want to master best and learn from those who have the footsteps to making it happen. Instead of trying to reinvent the wheel, find a mentor or coach who can walk you through the steps; it’ll save you time and energy.
Adam Siddiq is the Host of The Soulfully Optimized Life podcast,and a Peak Performance Coach and Leader, specifically working with Millennials and StartUps to create epic changes in the world.